So, you're running a game, perhaps D&D (I almost always use D&D examples, which is fine because I like D&D, but maybe I should use something else at some point). Okay, after typing out that parenthetical statement, I decided to use BRP as my basis. So you're running BRP and one of the players says he wants his character to get drunk. In my years of gaming, I've noticed that it's far more fun for me to actually get drunk than have my character do that simply because that's something I can easily do in real life, unlike killing orcs with a club. I remember not that long ago playing in a campaign with a variety of people, one of which was a fatty who started sending me emails, hitting on me. See? That intro stuff was relevant. Anyway, she expressed her displeasure of drinking one session which of course led me to show up drunk to the next one, pounding a 6-pack of Miller High Life during the game. The emails became less frequent, problem solved. Fuck, I need to stop doing a Finnegan's Wake revival here and get to the point. OKAY SO, character drunk. If you've ever consumed far too much alcohol (which is honestly fun from time to time) you know the repercussions can be disastrous, depending on the circumstances. They're also generally hilarious if it happens to someone else. I know you don't care but I only drank so much last night because I did an insaneo workout at the gym and my traps were on fire so I needed to quench the flames of CNS and muscle discomfort with the soothing hand of my mistress Martini with a Twist. Yes, I do like gin quite a bit, and it's funny to see the looks I get rolling into a somewhat decent place dressed like a hobo, imbibing a drink prepared for a true gent. Then I hit the shots. I'm around 1/4 Irish, but I seriously am channeling Joyce right now with this nonsense. Character drunk. Roll on table below to see what happens. There we go...
D12 because I like the D12 and it gets no love:
- Wake up in alley, covered in vomit, presumably yours. (You can't dust for vomit)
- Strip naked at some point. Clothing is forever lost.
- Shit pants, smell lingers for days.
- Awake to the sounds of obese woman cooking breakfast whilst in her bed.
- Face has new and interesting doodles.
- Decide to get into a fight with professional MMA fighter. Hospital..?
- Overnight jail stint, replete with attempted rape.
- Pass out on couch at 9PM, miss stuff everyone else discusses for years.
- End up at ex-girlfriend's house. 50% chance of sleeping with her.
- Four hour argument over trivial minutiae resulting in fist fight.
- Try to contact everyone you know, especially women you shouldn't.
- Discover random, inexplicable injuries.