Wednesday, April 6, 2011

EverQuest didn't start it

But it sure didn't stop it, either. I'm talking about cheesecake in RPGs. (This whole alphabet thing is just retarded...but I said I'd do it, so whatever) Pin-up girls have been around forever. Literally. I've heard that the walls in manger where Jesus was born were covered in a mural featuring Raquel Welch. Or at least someone who looked like her. Okay, but in RPGs, and especially CRPGs, they've gone from subtle to not-so-subtle to over-the-top. This post is really just an excuse to do a GIS for half naked animated chicks.

Yeah, that's some sort of mage in, I guess she can get away with a bare midriff and a halter top thing. Still, that bone shrapnel might actually do some damage. Ever heard of a coat?

Some chicks from Guildwars. The one with the face tatttoos (definitely a bad decision) is some sort of druid, I guess. The other one is a rogue. Hey, at least her boobs won't get cut too easily.

Random Lineage 2 dark elf warrior chick. How the hell are you going to fight in garters and gauntlets? She's wearing metal boots and hardly anything else.

Another dark elf, this time from World of Warcraft. If this image isn't suggestive, I don't know what is. At least they got the proportions a bit closer to reality.

No such luck in this picture from Warhammer Online. There is so much wrong with this image...unless, of course, breast implants are en vogue with elf warriors. That's possible. I mean, you can even see the scars underneath the left one. Should she really be going into battle before she's properly healed from the surgery? Why anyone on the front lines would wear a bikini to kill orcs is beyond me.

Girl from Final Fantasy. This one isn't bad at all, and it's almost freakishly realistic. But do ANY of these broads wear normal clothing? This chick is lacing up the gloves to do some serious ass kicking, but she puts on a tank top that doesn't even fit. Gina Carano aside, I can't imagine that implants help too much when you're throwing punches.

My absolute favorite, I admit it. Kasumi from the DOA series. Not an RPG, but so what...I guess since she's a ninja she can get away with that outfit, but her stealthy skills might be improved dramatically with a simple breast reduction. Seriously, those are like DDs and she can't be more than a buck-o-five. Back problems, anyone?

And, of course, the classic...


  1. I cry a little every time I see the words "breast" and "reduction" pushed up next to one another.

  2. Stuff like that just really makes male gamers look kind of dopey. It's a shame, really.